Choices Men Make

We human beings are essentially social animals. However in the urban living and times we are increasingly moving towards living alone. The concept of one’s personal space and wanting to live for oneself has taken over the age old concept of living in harmony and thinking of the good of all and serving selflessly is gone.

Today we have the internet that allows us to connect with family and friends all the time. Internet has erased borders and erased the concept of time too. Coupled with the technology, the urban lifestyle is so designed that each one pursues his or her goals and lives an independent life. Economic independence has brought in the concept of living for oneself. Accordingly women and men today think of their self interest. Earlier on relationships were for a life time. Couples thought of each other and the well being of the rest of the family before taking any decision. Today each one puts his or her self interest before the others and pursues self satisfaction. When each one is looking to satisfy oneself and thinks of what is in it for me, the nature of relationship changes automatically. It takes two to tango. Both the partners need to think of the other’s wellbeing and be ready to accommodate and sacrifice in order to achieve the larger goal of happiness and peace. When everyone thinks of himself or herself first there cannot be a relationship. This is but the fact of life and we are unable to recognize the damage that we are doing to ourselves and the society at large.

The number of divorces and broken homes has increased considerably in the western world. Consequently the loneliness and the resultant psychological disorders are also showing increasing trends. The number of men and women suffering from depression, suicidal tendencies and other psychological problems is very high in today’s world. All of this is because of the lack of an emotional web of relationships and family which would have provided the cushioning effect and security in relationships.

Both men and women who are independent economically choose to live the life they want. It has become very natural for each one to live alone. However in the longer run, they forget that their body and their psychological health does not keep up with time and they are likely to need support when they face challenging times such as menopause etc. In the case of men who go through andropause, they are likely to go through a lean time when the male hormone production reduces in the body causing a lot of disturbances in the form of depression, anxiety, fear and lack of vigor and energy etc. The male body loses its muscle mass and the sexual drive too gets affected drastically. This is the critical time when one needs emotional support from the near and dear ones. In a family setup, the emotional security blanket provided by the relationships help men weather these changes and get their orientation right. In the absence of any close family, the individual is likely to find it difficult to understand his situation and to comprehend what is going wrong with him.

The age old traditions of family, children and relationships has been so designed to serve the well being of every individual of the society. When we choose to move away from the traditions and values without understanding the consequences at various levels, we are bound to suffer and invite un necessary challenges in life.